


The Feast of the Ruination of the False God

by the_dragongirl



Category: InCryptid - Seanan McGuire
Genre: Gen, Religion, Revenge, beware the wrath of the aeslin mice, total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:06:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6317704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dragongirl/pseuds/the_dragongirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Most Sacred Litany of the Aeslin Mice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Feast of the Ruination of the False God

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_foxgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_foxgirl/gifts).



> So, this was written and posted on tumblr as a way of providing some cheer to the_foxgirl, who was having bad past relationship feels. It is, indeed, utter, utter, crack. I have cleaned it up and posted it here mostly as a reminder to myself that I am capable of making things that are not Star Wars related. So, uh, if you were just here for the Star Wars, sorry about that. There will be more of that soon.

Long ago, in the blessed month of That’s My Ice Cream, Goddamnit, a False God, remembered in the holy tales as That Bastard Who Had It Coming To Him, did cast off a Noble and Most Righteous Priestess, who in her benevolence had given to him a place in her attentions. And lo, the congregation was much aggrieved, for though he was a False God and unworthy of even the smallest crumb of her time, his uncouth actions did bring sorrow to the Priestess. Many were the nights when her songs were made silent, and her tears shed for the Betrayal of That Bastard Who Had It Coming To Him. And so, the congregation did call together five of its bravest and most wise, to concoct a plan of Vengeance upon the False God.

HAIL! HAIL THE CONCOCTION OF THE PLAN!

The five had learned where That Bastard Who Had It Coming To Him resided, and so began to make their preparations. They found a path by which they might pass unseen through the city from the place of the Priestess’ dwelling unto the home of the False God. The gathered to them their sacred weapons, and dressed in their most righteous of garments, and set forth.

HAIL! HAIL THE OUTSET OF THE HOLY CRUSADE!

Through many dangers did the five loyal acolytes pass. Many predators there were, and crossings through places of many cars. More than once did the five believe that they had lost their way. But no danger could stay their hands, so intent were they upon avenging the wrongs done unto their Priestess.

HAIL! HAIL THE DEVOTION OF THE FIVE!

The first found the wires of many Things Which Look Expensive, and laid them asunder. The second found all the garments in the closets which Gods had described as “c’mon, you guys. I need those for work!”, and he made in them many holes. The third sought out Articles of Important Paper and rent them into many parts, scattering the pieces as far as she may. The fourth sought out the pantry, and soiled all the foods therein. The fifth and final one saw the work done by her fellows and saw that it was good, and made in the walls many small and secret passages through which lesser mice might pass and continue their depredations.

HAIL! HAIL THE DESTRUCTION OF THE FALSE GOD’S DOMICILE!

When their work was done, they returned through the dangers of the city, and told the Priestess of what had passed. And the Priestess did listen to all that they had done, and she blessed their endeavors, saying unto the five, “I feel like I should probably be lecturing you guys. Or, you know, at least telling you never to do anything like that again. But you know what? That bastard had it coming to him. Good job, you guys. Cheese and cake for everyone.” And then the Priestess laughed. She laughed long and hard and heartily, as the congregation had not heard her laugh in many days. And there was feasting which lasted throughout the night and well past the dawn.

HAIL! HAIL THE LAUGHTER OF THE PRIESTESS RESTORED!

Therefore, let all rejoice, on this, the day of the Feast of the Ruination of the False God! Let wires be chewed! Let papers be torn and walls made unsound! Let all who would trifle with the affections of our most Holy Priestesses tremble at the wrath of the Aeslin!

HAIL! HAIL! HAIL THE FEAST OF THE RUINATION OF THE FALSE GOD!


End file.
